My Lyfestyle Through Lyrics
I won’t delve into great detail about the situation and circumstances that inspired my poem “Caged”, but I will, however, discuss what things are like from my point of view and the emotions I go through daily because I can’t fully express my love the way I want and need to.
As I write this, honestly, my tear ducts overflow. Why? I’m emotional. I’m human. So sue me! I’m such a hopeless romantic. There is so much I wish I could share in this specific blog post with all of you, but… well… I can’t. Trusting someone completely with their word has always been hard for me. Hell, it’s hard for everyone. I don’t let just anyone get to know me. I’m a very private person. And in his own right, so is he… to a certain degree. His career requires him to be in the limelight. I’ve been in the limelight, I don’t crave it. But somehow, the limelight is drawn to me. It finds it’s way to me either via a friend, family member, a mentor or a colleague. Somehow, someway I end up back in the limelight.
My poem “Caged” is not only about not being able to escape the limelight, but also about not being able to openly express my love for the one my heart chose. Any which way I go, there’s nowhere for me to escape. There’s nowhere for me to openly be me. You’re probably asking why, right? It’s complicated. My life is complicated. His life is complicated. Yet, somehow, we found each other and together… we’re even more complicated. Our love is, especially, complicated. There’s a parallelism with our lives that is unique, but that uniquess is the exact reason I can’t even speak of our love. I have my reasons. He has his. We leave it at that.
What I am learning through this process is how strong I am, how stupid I feel, how naive he thinks I may be, how foolish I was to get myself into this predicament but most importantly, that through it all I pray for him. So that makes me wonder, does he even pray for me?
I’m beginning to ramble, but I just needed to get my thoughts out my head. Feeling caged sucks. When love begins to suck the life out of a person, it is no longer love. Sometimes, it just fades, which also sucks because that makes me feel like I’ve lost my luster. Who knows?
One thing I do know is this: I don’t have STUPID WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD! Hope that memo gets to him.
Until next post,