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Not Unsual? (Date 2)


I’ll never forget this second blind date (I mean that in a bad way). It was the complete opposite of my first date. I guess I can’t expect every guy to be as romantic and thoughtful as J (my first date. See me post titled MMM). As for this date, I could use a lot of words to describe the kind of date it turned out to be: boring, horrific, uninteresting, etc. But in one word: NIGHTMARE.

This date, who shall remain nameless (I’m tempted to put him on blast, but I won’t), broke my top 6 date pet peeves:

1) Don’t be late.
Yes people, he was late… an hour and 2 minutes late. I counted. I hate eating late. I usually eat dinner between the hours of 6 and 8 pm, closer to 6 usually but when on a date I dont mind eating closer to 8. Eating dinner later than that throws me off my eating pattern and sleep routine. I don’t like to eat 2 hours before bedtime. It’s not healthy.

2) Make sure I know in advance if the date involves a sport related activity.
I love sports! I’m down for doing anything involving sports. However, if this is the first date and I haven’t a clue of the plans, I’m assuming it’s just a quiet dinner, a short walk to get dessert and good conversation. This date was dinner at a noisy sports bar. I found myself tweeting, texting and watching ESPN… and he did not even recognize that I had lost interest. This setting would’ve been better for a second or third date.

3) Movies after the date.
Hello! How am I supposed to get to know you if you took me out for dinner at a noisy sports bar? Now you want to go to a movie and sit for 2 hours staring at a big screen? No dude! *blows referee whistle* 15 yard penalty! Delay of game! Game Over!

4) Dress appropriately for the date.
I was dressed in my best and he was dressed like a hot mess. Seriously! I don’t judge people by the clothes they wear or the brands they buy, but I do have an issue with cargo khakis, polo shirt with an argyle sweater vest and socks with sandals. Yes… he wore that ensemble and didn’t see anything wrong with it. When I initially laid eyes on him… a scene from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air came to mind. Yup! Carlton dancing to Jim Jones’ song It’s Not Unusual. That was the ONLY time during the date that I smiled and SALTS (smiled a little then stopped: An acronym coined/created by @DeRayDavis).

5) Dont talk too much.
The entire date he did ALL the talking. He asked me a couple questions about myself and halfway into my answer he’d cut me off and ramble on about nonsense. People who interrupt others when talking like to hear themselves talk. I just sat quietly, not even pretending to look interested. So I started tweeting, texting and blogging as he rambled on. Rude, I know, but he didn’t even notice and didn’t even ask that I stop. So I continued on.

6) Don’t treat me like your trophy.
He obviously found me attractive, but he paid me a couple compliments and the rest of the night he kept trying to hold my hand and put his arm around me. It was disingenuous because only when others laid eyes on me would he try to make a move to make it seem as if we were an actual couple (not a good look).

I don’t normally do what I did, but I got up, shook his hand while he was rambling on (what about? only God remembers now) and told him: “I’m sorry, this isn’t going well. I don’t want to waste your time and I certainly don’t like mine wasted. I’m not going to say that it was nice meeting you because I’d be lying and that’d be fake of me. I’ll pay my portion of dinner and I’ll get my own ride back home. Thank you for this valuable lesson. I hope you learned one as well.” Then I walked to the bar asked for the best shot he had. Four friends sitting at the bar asked if I was okay as I waited for the bartender to pour my shot. I told them I was perfectly fine, it’s was this horrible blind date that wasn’t fine. So we did a round of shots, watched ESPN for a few minutes together and talked about NFL free agencies and the NBA lockout. My blind date tried to say goodbye, but my new four bodyguards weren’t keen on him even talking to me. They kindly asked him to leave, I just threw up the deuces and didn’t even look back to see him leave. I’m not normally this mean but don’t play me like I’m a dumb trophy. I took a couple more shots with my new friends and headed home (They were kind enough to split my
costs of drinks and cab ride home. TRUE GENTLEMAN! I left the bartender money to pay their tab to repay them for their kind gesture and great company. GO BEARS! 😉 ).

I’m not sad about this experience. I’m more grateful for the men out there who do take the time to plan interesting dates and interesting conversations. It’s the littlest things that count.

When I arrived home I made a mad dash for the grand piano. Music always soothes my soul. I tweeted my friends
to hit me up on webcam while I play the piano. The first song that came to mind was @MariahCarey ‘s song My Saving Grace. I find myself humming this song as a prayer on the days where I’m feeling a little down. My friends were crying and tweeting while I played and sang to them. Sheesh! I hadn’t planned on making them cry so I had to turn on the house surround sound to blast some happier and fun tunes. So I played Mariah’s greatest upbeat hits mixed mixed with @Nelly_Mo ‘s greatest hits (an homage to my week stint in STL). We cried. We tweeted. We danced. We tweeted some more. We laughed and tweeted a lot more.
I love my friends. From a horrible dating experience to a night of fun with my friends, I was grateful for everything nonetheless.

This blind date experience is something else. I like it but I don’t. I almost feel like my 2nd blind date tried to make
me not like him. He didn’t have to try hard. He wasn’t e even physically or intellectually attractive. There wasn’t a spark the first second I saw and heard him speak. That’s important to me. In comparison to J, this date by far pales in comparison. I was still open to a fun night, even after the tardiness, but he didn’t seem like he put any effort into the date. And then somehow he felt the need to text me and tell me he had a wonderful night and we should do this again (really? Were we on the same date?). Uh.. NO! Now I’ve got to change my number! -_- This date was UNUSUAL and then some.



3 comments on “Not Unsual? (Date 2)

  1. FatFemPinUp
    July 27, 2011

    I’m glad yur the type of woman to put an end to a bad/uncomfortable/stupid situation. It means you hold yurself to a high standard and dont accept any bullshit! kudos girla nd hold yur head because the right one will find yu…..if the right one isnt date 1 lol


    • LyfesLyfe
      July 27, 2011

      I have a low tolerance for any kind of bullpoopy. If I can avoid an awkward moment I will. I wasnt going to have him ruin my night with his lame plans for a date. I had a blast at the bar with my “bodyguards” though. They sensed my boredom from the bar and told me it was painful for them to watch a beautiful woman like me not be appreciated. Now we’re making plans to tailgate at the Bears vs. Packers game late September! My new football buddies! I think God had planned this out for me to meet my new bodyguards now that I think about it. lol


  2. Lani Young
    July 27, 2011

    I agree that WOW I admire your strength to not endure the evening – its been afew 100 years since i was in the dating game, so maybe I would be more assertive now – but I know that back then i would never have been able to be as confident, calm and poised enough to say”thanks, but no thanks!” Good on you. And even tho Im sure the evening was awful – you wrote about it so entertaingly that I had to laugh! ( sorry LOL) And yes, your description? TOTALLY Carlton.


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This entry was posted on July 27, 2011 by in Experience, Love, Recreation, Relationships, Sex, Social and tagged , , , , , , .
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